Can you see my irritation? My heart was racing, but I love her, so I didn't say anything because I know she's uncomfortable being with this new "group". When I said, "okay", and just "okay", I really meant, "okay, do you see what you're saying? Do you see that I just came home after an entire day preparing for an event and having fun at it, and you're telling me that I don't belong there, even if I DID enjoy it?" I don't say a lot of things that I should say, but I knew she'd go off on a weird tangent and just leave me hanging.
Like when my dog died.
I should be upset and I should be in her face and insulted because she doesn't know me this well. I invited her tonight, but she left me hanging there, too. I would also feel insecure if one of my closest friends was seemingly drifting off into a group of people I'm not familiar with and can probably not be compatible with if I tried, but it's not like I'm just going to abandon her. I would never do that. And I'm not going to be converted into a stranger just because I blend well with others, that's just my personality.
I'm just a little distraught over one of my closest companions not knowing me this well, that's all.
I'm learning to be adaptable to different people, meaning different values, morals, and beliefs. It doesn't mean I am rejecting my own or embracing theirs, but I'm meeting in the middle by cherishing and enjoying our common joys, sorrows, and rationale. I stand by my own, they stand by theirs, and we live without violently disagreeing because what's more important are our similarities and our willingness and desire to make it work. And let me tell you. There's a lot of desire here.
She doesn't have to worry, but it made me really uneasy that she couldn't see I won't let her go! =[
Anyway, I had loaaads of fun. I love these girls, haha! I've never actually had a "girl group," because of drama and so on. But I love having a feminine circle of friends. On Friday, I went with A and the boys (alllll the boys practically), and there was so much testosterone. I swear I had a penis that fell off later!
KB drove me home. It took like, 40 minutes just to find her car -_- LOL And we made a vid that I'll post later.
Lots of looove!
edit 4:44pm
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