ONLY HOPE/ VANESSA HUDGENS

I can only hope to be loved this much.















I miss my dad





edit 7:10pm

ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew
so sexposed =[

On a lighter note, I do love her panties and undies. I'm definitely going undergarment shopping soon.
Because I want to. Look how cute they are! They kindda look like the ones I wanted in my past blog.

UGH, well I'm obvisouly troubled with something. FUCKKK. =[ But I'll just shower it off

edit: 11:48pm
I didn't shower.

I don't know why I'm still upset. Maybe because We'd already took some turns and I assumed they would be between he and I, but apparently it could be shared. No, no, I understand that to an extent, they can't, but I feel kindda violated right now. Only because I thought it would be a private matter within what we called "our" world, as opposed to our separate universes where we can dictate what information can and cannot be distributed. I would have at least liked a say in it...

I'm just a bitter melon right now because just earlier I felt sooo violated when just my grandma walked into my room. It's already been said that I have a privacy phobia thing... Ugh, I feel so... heart-hardened right now. Ew... and yea, you're thinking, "Still? Cmon, Jean. You've been 'ew' since 7." Please just try to let me get over it.

I think this is karma biting a chunk off my ass.

If you're uncomfortable, then don't let people know.
'If you don't want people to know, don't tell them.
If you actually did it, then stop doing it.
Then, you wouldn't have anything to tell.

UGHHH whatever. I may be taking this to the extremes, but I have to. I'm a girl and hell yes do I value chivalry. It's all part of being romanced and keeping the fidelity. No, I wasn't cheated on, but I felt like I was shared in a way... I don't know how to explain it. I actually let it cut me deeper than it was supposed to, but only because I never thought I'd get hurt.

Maybe it's true freedom to live "freely" without secrecy, but I do value privacy... it makes what I keep private, feel like treasure for me, something precious with some amount of preserved sanctity knowing that only I and maybe someone else knows it. I don't have many "secrets," but I do have things to keep private, only because it doesn't need to be spread to people that don't need to know.

But whatever, maybe he needed to know. Because he's that guy that could know without consequence. And you know what, maybe it's more than okay because it broke boundaries and crushed walls around his mind that needed to be crushed in order to free his prespective. That's perfectly okay.

But what about me?
If it's about me, too, don't I have a say?


...wow, how did I get off becoming so conceited.